Mothering the Mother

A Home Birth Under the Redwoods

This story is told by Kylie Kelly:

Sage Elizabeth Kelly
born 5/15/08 11:23 am, at home, under the redwoods
7 lb 4 oz 20 in.


Our story began at about 1:20 am on Thursday when my water broke.  When we saw that the fluids were clear, we thought we would have some time to go back to bed.  But within an hour or so the contractions started and from the beginning, they were strong.

We called our midwives (Kate and Rox) at around 5 am, as by this time the contractions had been coming regularly for some time.  Our midwife’s assistant, Kelly, came first, and was shortly followed by Kate.  There was never any “down-time” between the contractions,  and I was able to breathe my way through them.  I spent most of this phase of labor on the toilet (not how I pictured things!).   Although the contractions were tough, I felt calm and capable.

At about 8:30 that morning, it was time to push.  This proved to be harder for me than enduring the contractions.  It took me several pushes just to get the hang of how to do it.  I tried many different positions (hands and knees, on my side, on my back holding my knees, etc).  In between pushes, the baby’s head was out more and more and this was very painful and did not allow any rest in between pushes.  Feeling the baby’s head with my hand and seeing the head with a mirror really kept me going.  Our baby finally came out at 11:23 Thursday morning when I was sitting on the birthing stool.  

We were so overjoyed that several minutes passed before we looked to see if she was a little boy or girl.  She wa a beautiful baby girl that we named Sage Elizabeth Kelly.  She came in at 7 pounds 4 ounces and 20 inches long.

The next part became our “unexpected challenge.”  When Kate examined me she felt blood clots in my uterus.  Kate reached in with her hands and pulled them out.  This was excruciating!  This only took 15 to 20 seconds, and we are grateful that Kate was able to handle this smoothly, but in our minds, it is very memorable part of the story.

Kelly and Kate were fantastic and gave us exactly the type of support we needed for the labor.  We also had a good friend attend, and her presence too was very much appreciated.  Although Kate described our birth story as “delightful” and we agree, it was really hard work from beginning to end, but also amazingly empowering.  

We are giving thanks for this amazing experience.  I felt physically sore but we understood that was to be expected for a few days.  Mike was sore too, as I really clung to him both physically and spiritually.  At the first moment we layed eyes on her, we knew that she was a healthy babe, and she has continued to thrive.  Within 30 minutes of her arrival she had a great latch and breastfeeding went well.  She loved being swaddled and cuddled.  By the way, she also has red hair and the brightest blue eyes we have ever seen, and eight months later we still think she is just a love.

A First-Time Home Birth Story

The following is my own birth story:

Nia Beju Stearns
Born Tuesday, May 20th, 11:39pm at home with the help of midwife Roxanne Cummings and assistant Kelly Olmstead
8 lbs, just shy of 21" long

Our birth story begins with our Tuesday afternoon prenatal appointment with Roxanne. We requested a cervical exam and found, to our delight, that our little one's head was quite low, the cervix was posterior and quite effaced, and it was 1 cm dilated -- all of this was a HUGE change over the week prior when all signs seemed to indicate the baby was sitting tight for awhile. In fact, Joe and I felt sure our little one was going to be a June baby! (I suppose this was her first lesson to us in not planning or pretending to know too much!)

At the time of the appointment I was not feeling any contractions, though had felt that the Braxton Hicks were getting a bit stronger, and starting to be felt mildly in my back (though by no means were they getting my attention really). Nonetheless, Joe and I were very excited at the findings of the appointment and were happy that our baby was on her way. Still we had no idea how soon.

So, Joe went off to work 45 minutes away and I came home to what I realize in retrospect was some pretty intense nesting -- I scrubbed our two 8' wide sliding glass doors and made out a list of several errands to run before the evening prenatal yoga class (including, randomly, washing the car!). After the cleaning, I sat down to a snack and to chat on the phone with my dad. Shortly after sitting down I felt a jolt in my belly -- a sensation I can only describe as a water balloon popping inside. It wasn't painful at all but definitely got my attention. There was no liquid right away but after walking around a bit, my underwear was soaked. This was at 4pm.

Kelly, the midwives' assistant, came over soon after to confirm whether the fluid was amniotic or not. It was. As I was not feeling any contractions at that point, Kelly and I discussed methods for getting labor going (a walk involving stairs, acupuncture, etc.). I had tested posted for Group B Strep so it was important that my labor start within 18 hours for me to be able to deliver at home. She said that if labor hadn't started by 9pm, I should get a good night's rest and then we'd try again in the morning.

Kelly left and Joe headed home from work to help me get the contractions started. However, by the time Joe got to our home, at 5:16 (he remembers the time exactly!), I was in active labor! It just came on strong and almost out of the blue. So much for all our plans of early labor projects (making up the bed to be water proof, setting up the birth tub in the living room, baking a birthday cake...)!

My labor was quick (7 hours, 40 min from when the water broke). Because of this, the challenge of the labor for me was that I got very little breaks between the contractions. The things that worked for me in staying on top of the contractions were laboring on the toilet and then in the birth tub, using my voice and hearing Joe sound along with me, and having pressure on my sacrum. The water and using my voice along with Joe's were the biggest helps, though.

I moaned a long, low "Ohhhhhh" during each and every one of my contractions -- as long, low and loud as I needed to. Sometimes I had to do it four times with all the breath I had to get through as a lot of my contractions were 90 seconds long, and then they were coming two right back to back with very little break in between. This low "Oh" sound was the most effective way to keep my mind from freaking out and analyzing the pain and going to a "why me?" state of mind. The theory is, too, that it is impossible to dilate a cervix with a tight jaw, so making the Oh sound keep my mouth loose and directed the energy down.

I had to have Joe do the sounds with me on each and every contraction. His voice kept me centered on my own voice, and also a lot of the time I had my head on his chest and the vibration of his voice was very grounding. My niece, Zomina, was here during the labor, upstairs with her mom and my in-laws. When she arrived, she heard Joe & I doing this Oh sound together and asked her mom, "What song are they signing?" The next day I told her it was the "Opening Song."

I pushed for approx. 1 hour before our little angel was born on the birth stool at 11:40pm, as healthy as could be. I tried a couple of positions on the bed, but found the most effective place for me was on the stool. I tore a little and needed a few stitches, but nothing bad. Within the first hour, Nia nursed and the three of us were just high as kites. I don't think Joe and I managed to fall asleep till well past 4am!

Tell Me A *Positive* Birth Story

Have you noticed that there is an epidemic of telling horror birth stories?

These horror stories are in movies & on TV (TLC's Baby Story, Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy) but also told to pregnant women by strangers, friends, and family -- often unsolicited. The traditional baby shower seems to be a favorite place to tell horror birth stories.

When I was 6 months pregnant a mother of two young children said to me, "Birth is like a car crash, only you don't know when it is going to happen."

Why do women do this to each other??

We need to actively send positive stories into our society to combat these fear-inducers. I' d like this blog to be a gathering place for positive birth stories & photos.

I want to clarify: I don't mean only home births, and I don't mean only vaginal births. I simply mean birth stories that are not told with the purpose of scaring soon-to-be-moms or for boasting your "battle scars." Every birth story can be told positively. It is just in the telling. And every pregnant woman needs to hear these.

Tell me your positive birth story. Let's make a collection that pregnant women can read and feel empowered and excited about as they anticipate the birth of their child.

-- Send me your story via email (along with a picture of your child, either during birth or any time after): jjunebugg149@yahoo.com

-- Start with the end: Begin your story with your child's name, birth day & time, location of birth (home, hospital, birth center, etc), and any other statistics you wish to include

-- Tell your story

What is a Doula?

Simply put, doulas mother the mother-to-be.

Doulas provide continuous emotional, physical and informational support to mothers and partners before, during and after birth.

Doulas are not midwives. They do not provide any medical support (including vag exams, blood pressure monitoring, medication administration, etc). Rather, doulas provide the constant support often missing in a hospital setting where doctors, midwives and nurses come and go and often go through shift changes.

Birthing women deserve and require consistent, continuous reassurance, comfort, encouragement and respect. Doulas provide this, which rounds out the medical care provided by the hospital staff or homebirth midwife, and the love and companionship provided by the birth partner.

Numerous studies have shown that there are many benefits to having a doula present:

•   50% reduction in the cesarean rate         
•   25% shorter labor                           
•   60% reduction in epidural requests         
•   40% reduction in oxytocin use               
•   30% reduction in analgesia use             
•   40% reduction in forceps delivery

This information was obtained from Mothering the Mother:  How a Doula Can Help You Have a Shorter Easier and Healthier Birth, Klaus, Kennell, and Klaus (1993).

Picture credit: newvisionsmagazine.com

Normal Birth Forum featuring Henci Goer

I just came across this, and I'm really excited. This is the Normal Birth Forum, featuring Henci Goer -- author of one of the very best birth books: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.

This is taken from the forum's homepage:

Join Henci Goer, expert in the obstetric research, to discuss common practices and policies in pregnancy and childbirth. Learn about the evidence supporting normal birth. Get information that can help you—or your students or clients— make informed decisions about care. Find out the characteristics of providers who practice according to the best evidence.

I'm so pleased to see a place online for discussions on normal birth!

Excellent Birth Books

I've come across many, many good books on birth preperation. I've listed them in order of my preference, though all are amazing:

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
by Henci Goer

Sheila Kitzinger's books:
Freedom and Choice in Pregnancy and Childbirth
The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Birth
Ourselves as Mothers

The Birth Partner
by Penny Simkin

Gentle Birth Choices
by Barbara Harper

A wonderful midwifery text that anyone can read:
Heart and Hands: A Midwife's Guide to Pregnancy and Birth
by Elizabeth Davis

Ina May Gaskin's books:
Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

After the baby is born:

Your Amazing Newborn
by Marshall H. Klaus, MD, Phyllis H. Klaus, CSW, MFCC

The Nursing Mother's Companion
by Kathleen Huggins

Women's Experience of Breastfeeding
Sheila Kitzinger

After the Baby's Birth: A Woman's Way to Wellness:
A Complete Guide for Postpartum Women
by Robin Lim

For fun:
Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year
Anne Lamott

Anyone come across others they really liked?

Birth Resources

DONA: Doulas of North America
ALACE: Association of Labor Assistants and Child Birth Educators

Birth Netork of Santa Cruz
Doulas of Santa Cruz County

Nurture: 831.722.8780
Labor support with experienced Doulas on a sliding scale. Free services include breastfeeding support, referrals to midwives, doulas, counseling services, crisis hotlines and health care.

Childbirth Preperation:
Birthing From Within
The Bradley Method
Hypnobirthing

The Doula Beyond the Blog

My name is April Johnson Stearns. I'm a professional birth doula (labor & birth assistant) in Santa Cruz, CA. My business is called Pinkmoon Doula Care.

I received my education at Twin Lakes College and have been attending births as a doula since 2002. My main objective in being a doula is to help women and families have empowering births -- whatever that means for them. I'm not here to push a home birth or a drug-free labor on anyone. Rather, I think it is very important to provide continuous support to women in labor so that they can have the best possible labor and birth experience. I provide physical, emotional and informational support.

Please feel free to contact me by email or at 831.469.8013.

Update: In May 2008, I welcomed my first child into the world via home birth. We named our daughter Nia Beju and she is pure light & wonder & joy. With her arrival a renewed desire to help women have empowering birth and postpartum experiences has also arrived. I hope you find this blog inspiring and encouraging.